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12. Narrative Of A Wife

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The Homemaker 

noun: 
a person who manages his or her own family,  especially as a principal occupation
Ellicott's Commentary for English Readers has this to say concerning the married woman - The Keeper At Home - mentioned in Titus 2:5...


Home duties, cares, pleasures, sacrifices of self -  these God-appointed duties ought to fill the mind and the heart of the young wife.  There should be no desire, or no attempt, to go round to the other houses,  and so contracting idle, gossiping habits.  Hofmann thus sums up these directions to the young Christian women of Crete,  "Gute Hausfrauen will der Apostel haben."
That conclusive German bit takes me straight back to my childhood! I sat under German and PA Dutch sermons for the first eleven years of my life and that simple statement had me sitting in a small country church in the hills of Pennsylvania under those somber preachers.

Translation: The Apostle wants good housewives.

Have you ever studied the biblical meaning of a Ke…

11. Narrative Of A Wife

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Against The Tide

An admirable example of a godly marriage prompted mixed reactions in my heart. If all was smooth and placid on the home front I remained at peace, but if we were battered by storms I'd either have an overwhelming impulse to run into the furthest corner and hide or do an immediate comparison by ticking off box after box in hopes of measuring up.

Mostly, I'd hang my head under the weight of condemnation, convinced we were subpar.

But with the passage of time I am coming to rest in the truth that we, with all our faltering steps toward right living, are still loved and accepted by our heavenly Father. Are we called to go against the tide? Perhaps. It may be more accurate to conclude that we are being placed as sign posts for the weary, worn, hopeless, and lost souls walking this path of marriage.

The words are clear:

Hope For Those Who Fail!
And that hope against hope is found in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 5 puts it this way...
"Therefore being justified by…

10. Narrative Of A Wife

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The Musician's Wife

It's one of the ironies of my life.

Why does the girl with little musical talent or interest marry a musician?

From my perspective it has proven to be a humbling yet enriching experience. And just maybe the Lord has an altogether other (and mildly humorous) sense of whether or not a man and woman are compatible.

I certainly cannot boast of any great talent. I do not lay claim to that all-important Ear For Music. But this thought cheers me...

"The Lord says, 'I will guide you along
the best pathway for your life.
I will advise you and watch over you."

Psalm 32:8
That speaks of security in my Father's wisdom. It compels me to accept the situations in which I have been placed with grace and poise. But it also translates into contentment. I do not need to compete with either my husband and his talent or with the thousands of other musicians scattered across the globe. The Lord has supplied all I need to be all I can be for His glory as Dale…

9. Narrative Of A Wife

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The Carpenter's Wife

My husband has been in building, remodeling and general carpentry throughout all of our married life. It follows quite naturally that I have become more and more familiar with that world. Though I never gave it much thought when we got married, this one important detail of my spouse's life has led to a veritable host of DIY projects, home renovations, remodel jobs, etc.

At the beginning he worked as foreman of a lawn furniture company, after which he launched his own remodeling business. For awhile he was a partner in a building products retail and manufacturing company. Today he is a salesman for exterior building products as well as running a small rental operation on the side.

Along with his day jobs, we have renovated homes together, mostly on evenings and weekends. Our ten homes in twenty years story was a series I wrote here on the blog five years ago, starting with this tiny apartment. Remodeling was not something I actively pursued in those early y…

8. Narrative Of A Wife

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Hope Deferred

Disappointments. Betrayal. Hopelessness.

So many wives have had to admit to agonizing disappointment in some specific aspect of their relationship with their husbands. The initial euphoria has worn off over the years. They feel betrayed by the one they love most. They have been hurt so deeply their lives are riddled with a sense of despair. The hope of restoration flickers like a candle nearly burned out.

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life."
Proverbs 13:12  
If, in this narrative of my life as a wife, my descriptions at times appear vague; if I seem to sidestep outright explanation of wrongs committed against each other; it is intentional. I do not believe it is necessary to air our grievances in all their stark and painful details but I do have a desire to share bits and pieces of my journey with other wives in the hope that it will provide a dose of courage when the way gets dark and stormy.
I have been hurt by my husba…

7. Narrative Of A Wife

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Joys of Companionship 

Is there anything more delightful than the day-to-day gift of friendship with your spouse? I still pause in wonder at this priceless treasure of companionship, someone to walk beside me and share the ups and downs of life. It is perhaps the greatest and most appealing aspect of marriage.

"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed." Ecclesiastes 4:9
Uniting two unrelated individuals into one is an invitation for a few fireworks and assorted upheavals, however, we are firmly persuaded the pleasures, the humor, the comforts, the adventures, the enjoyment shared by two reckon those disruptions worth enduring and overcoming by the grace of our Father.

What adds the ingredient of Joy to our relationship? A few of our favorites are as follows...

Shared Travels.



From the beginning we dreamed of traveling together. It remains among the chief festivities for the Schmucker household. Alas, it is not exactly an economical kind of hap…

6. Narrative Of A Wife

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Love Your Husband

"The older women must train the younger women to love their husbands..." Titus 2:4
I've heard it said that nowhere in the Bible is the wife instructed to love her husband. The argument is that a husband is commanded to love his wife while a wife's obligation is to respect and submit to her husband. That is true. But if the older women are to teach the younger women to love their husbands, then we are indeed encouraged to love our husbands. Therein lies the difference between a woman required to be a fearful, subordinate slave versus learning to be a loving, submissive wife.  
I've made more than my share of mistakes in the learning process. What does loving my husband looks like in everyday life? Where is the woman who seeks to cover the glaring faults, the bad habits, the indifference to her needs, the misunderstandings, and simply Love Her Husband?

Our list of grievances against our spouse can get lengthy and complicated. It seems justifiable.…