A Beautiful Woman...Part 3

And now, here is the next post on 'A Beautiful Woman'. I just might go beyond 3 parts, but that is yet to be decided.

The questions at the conclusion of yesterday's post had to do with how to stay in Jesus and how He makes us beautiful. I can possibly touch the tip of the answer by sharing what opened my heart to the truth in His Word, but I honestly know so little about it all.

May the Holy Spirit reveal His answers to us as we search for Him day by day...

Day 3...
I want to be a shining, brilliant illumination for the name of Jesus, but I seem so...Unable. Useless. Cold. Sterile. I am looking for Him, calling out His name.

I know He will clothe me with His light and life. So I wait. I long for another outpouring and manifestation of Jesus here on earth, Jesus in me through the power and baptism of the Holy Spirit.

Now, I will attempt to describe how I see myself. Why would Jesus be at all interested in me? I don't have much to offer...

"I'm a rather tall woman of medium build with a desire for a refined, gracious bearing, yet succeeding only in being somewhat ungainly, awkward, and unrefined. A flat head, a wide face with marred and rough skin, and a pug nose. Blue eyes. Brown hair with a bit of wave, but I don't have the knack of doing pretty hairstyles as well as I would like to. I am most distressed about my crooked teeth and still waiting (even at 38 years of age) for the day to have braces to fix that issue (something else is always more important!). It is a source of shame for me, but I feel ashamed that it affects me so much! I am too proud. I talk too much and too loud. I, naturally, have too many facial/hand/body expressions or contortions that I believe to be distracting and distasteful. I wish to be more ladylike, gentle, kind, quiet, and gracious. Still, a part of me thinks I am reasonably feminine...until the doubts return."

I don't say these things to complain about how God has made me, but to bring out the point that we usually view ourselves with an extremely critical eye. We find it hard to believe that Jesus could desire us for His bride. For the married woman, it may translate into feeling you can never truly satisfy your husband either.

Honestly, I would feel so sad for any woman who has this view of herself, yet I cannot deny this is my attitude toward myself too much of the time. There is a nagging mistrust of my value or worth; a subtle undertone of questioning my entire physical and emotional being. I desire so passionately to be beautiful, feminine, attractive, enchanting, and fully satisfactory to my husband.

Is this struggle due, in part, to the completely skewed concept of feminine beauty that is portrayed in today's American culture? Is it because I am constantly bombarded with a worldly definition of gorgeous in women all around me that I look at myself as fairly plain and mundane and certainly not attractive?

I could, in all sincerity, tell other women the true fact that God loves them, accepts them, and sees them, in a completely divine sense, as lovely, no matter their appearance, apparel, or actions. We are His creation. Yet I wonder if I fully embrace that truth for my own life.

One fact remains sure - as I really see Jesus and embrace His love for me, I begin to love Him and desire Him more and more. I peel off the rags of filth I've been wearing (self-made beauty and righteousness) to allow Him to dress me in his luxurious robe of excellent beauty (His glorious beauty and righteousness) which is, first of all, hidden in my heart, unseen by a world pursuing outward adornment.

This inward beauty and acceptance and security in Jesus starts to translate into a renewed mind and freedom from the bondage of world-dictated or religion-dictated fashion, style, and bearing. I believe this King who loves me actually teaches me how to be attractive, well-dressed, and gracious according to His standard.

Peace floods my entire being, for I have found the ultimate source of inspiration for a godly woman. Yes, a beautiful, gracious, feminine, godly woman, even in our modern, twenty-first century America!

And now, in the very next chapter of Song of Songs, the Young Man, the Lover, Jesus, says..."You are beautiful, my darling, beautiful beyond words...beautiful in every way...your love delights me...you have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride" (Song of Songs 4 goes on and on). And I believe Him! I am astonished, speechless, completely swept away by His love. But all this time, He's been drawing me with His love, kindness, and patient pleading. I now do actually believe these declarations of His love!

This is how to become a brilliant, shining, beautiful light to bring honor and glory to Jesus yet once more before the end of time. It is by humbling our proud selves, shedding our rags of filthy self-righteousness, and allowing Jesus to clothe us in His beautiful, elegant, glowing mantle of the finest cloth.

As we are filled to overflowing with Jesus, our Lover and King, nothing is impossible!

The difference wrought within me is as great as light from darkness. My heart is awed at the realization of Jesus' love for me...that He is singing me these love songs. I have sought Him. He has come. I honestly believe I am attractive to Him. Why? Because I have sought Him and accepted His Name, His Wardrobe, His Home as my own.

He has made me beautiful!

And now, I have decided there will be one more part. It's not quite finished!

To be continued...


Comments

  1. Makes me long for Him! I so enjoyed having you over & await the day for more sweet times. Thank-you so so much! Blessings!

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  2. My thoughts exactly, Anne! And I feel like I'll never reach the limit of Jesus love...it goes on and on and on!

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