Husband & Father

Because my heart is full... 
Because my desire is to encourage wives and daughters... 
Because God is worthy of all glory for His grace to us... 
I'll tell you a testimony of mine.

Yesterday, just like innumerable days past since I married this man, I had a weight of troubles stooping my shoulders and clouding my vision. I get that way far too easily; God knew I needed a compassionate husband. Once again, he and I had to have a communication session. These are battles against all those little enemies that constantly war against our marriage. 

They are not pretty, these sessions, in that I have ugly issues to pour out, tough questions to ask him, and multiplied fears to work through. Patiently, my husband lent an ear and a word of wisdom, direction, and rebuke. Because I'm his wife and I need him, he is willing to take a large chunk of time out of his busy schedule just to enable communication between us. That is the way we topple the looming walls I build.

Later in the evening, he asked our daughter how she's doing. She had her own set of struggles to pour out, so instead of going to bed, he sat down and went through it all again. Hours before, it was me, his wife, now his daughter needed him. I cringed inwardly, knowing what I had just put him through. He didn't flinch an inch. Kindly and carefully, he led her through the maze of questions and fears until peace was restored and faith renewed.

This morning, I am still amazed at his patience and courage, his love and compassion toward his needy wife and daughter. And my heart is overwhelmed with thanks to our Father for His provision for our needs. 

I am finding that I am safe with my husband. Our daughter is safe with her father. He does not despise us or ridicule us for our faults. He does not stereotype us as "just those emotional, fearful women" but really truly has compassion, love, and honor toward us. This is a gift, and one that makes me feel protected and loved despite my problems.

Is our husband and father perfect? No! Far from it! He will be the first to make that clear. And I, his wife, get all bent out of shape by what I perceive as his imperfections. But if I wait to love and respect him until he reaches my idea of a perfect man, our family will be destroyed. We will fight. Bitterness will set in. Insurmountable walls will remain in place.

Instead, I choose to love, respect, and submit to his authority right now while we are both vessels needing mercy, both trying (and often failing) to get it right, and both reaching toward the perfection that is in Christ for us. We cannot wait until later to live life. We must live it today in the midst of the difficulties because we are not promised tomorrow. 

If you find yourself in an impossible situation, whether in marriage or some other relationship, I submit to you my place of protection, direction, and triumph. It is found in humbling myself before the Lord, trusting Him, and not being afraid of needing my husband. He (my husband) is not always kind or patient or wise. But he has promised to be there for me forever. I have all kinds of wrong attitudes and actions that he has to endure. We walk through life together, learning and forgiving and loving, because we promised to be there for each other until death.

I am a fairly independent person. My husband would say I am a strong person. Put those two together and you might understand why it's so hard for me to "need" help, to "need" my husband. I would much rather solve the problem, just ask God for help, or wait until I've gotten over the struggles on my own. But gradually, my Father is taking away all my props and showing me the beauty of the relationship He has set up between my husband and me. 

It's alright to take my needs to my husband because that is one of his responsibilities in our home. Beyond that, my husband is astonishingly willing and even glad to help me and our children through the rough spots. It could destroy him, some of the questions, some of the doubts we voice, and some of the fears we keep bringing up. Instead, he faces it bravely. He is a Man! He guides his house well.

That is our perfectly imperfect little testimony of God's grace to us.


  1. And I would say that is the most beautiful & most encouraging & I don't know how else to describe, blog post you've written yet. So very real & true to life, I feel like I could've written it. Bless you my friend!

    1. Anne, thank you...and I knew you would understand!

  2. Wow!!! That is beautifully written!! May the Lord bless you for being open and honest!!!!!

    1. Thank you, Twila, and He does rain down blessings!

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