6. Narrative of A Mother
"Therefore, I want younger women to marry,
have children, manage their households,
and give the adversary no
opportunity to accuse us."
1 Timothy 5:14
How can I adequately convey to you my absolute delight in this particular position that has been given to me? Guiding my household into the correct channel, creating an atmosphere of peace, love, and protection for my family, and providing for the well-being of those within my care, is a commission I hold dear. This is where I belong. I consider it a priceless gift.
Creativity? Goals? Dreams? Adventures? These are all centered around my home and my family. Within this framework of household manager I find the ideal outlet and the freedom required for growth and success. As a mother, I am content to spend my energy in nurturing all those who pertain to my world. Perhaps it is too small a realm of influence in the eyes of society. It may seem trite and old-fashioned. But for me, it is the God-ordained environment in which I am at peace.
* * * * *
It's another weekday morning and I stumble out of bed to attend to my crying baby in the next room. I whisper soothing words of comforting calm, then carry her out to the kitchen to prepare her breakfast, while making sure my husband has what he needs before going off to work for the day. My two-year-old son is still sleeping, but he will be out of bed soon and need attention as well. I had hoped to have a few moments of solitude before the children awaken, but it will have to wait until another day. And the cycle repeats itself morning after morning after morning.
It is easy to question the value of it all. How is this contributing to the Kingdom of Heaven? How does this add dignity to the world in which we live? How can one mother with two children make a quantifiable contribution to the broader scheme of life?
I'll tell you what I believe to be the answer.
By performing my everyday duty with a vision beyond what the eye can see. By knowing that I truly have a purpose in life and a detailed plan to fulfill because Christ lives in me. By realizing I am created to glorify the Lord of all lords who is also my Father. Because of "Christ in me, the hope of glory" (Colossians 1:27), I can arise each morning and carry out the tasks of the day with diligence.
Do I feel like managing my household? Does it feel fulfilling? Do I actually feel like getting out of bed and executing the same obligations on repeat? No, not always. But it is the specific responsibility that has been assigned to me. Feelings aside, there is a job that must be done and, methodical and mind-numbing as it may seem, I pick up the yoke and keep on trudging forward in this vast and endless field.
Every now and again, I have the added benefit of Feeling Wonderful about it all!
* * * * *
Our children are now young adults with jobs outside of the home. My husband still works day after day to provide for his family. But they all love to be at home, finding it to be a welcome shelter from the chaos and contention out in the mainstream of business and humanity. It has not always been this way.
There was a time, at least for my husband, when the upheaval and torment in our home was great enough to drive him away. I, the one largely responsible for the atmosphere in our home, did not always welcome him back from a hard day's work. I allowed the struggles between us to become such a towering wall that our home became more of a cold and silent zone of unrest than a peaceful, protective shelter.
The hard truth is this...there are going to be troubles that arise in every home. Husband will hurt wife and wife will hurt husband. Children will not always learn what you are trying to teach them. Parents will not always know how to train in a godly manner. Wounds and betrayals and disappointments are a part of life on earth. What is our response in time of tribulation?
When we have been hurt, our natural tendency is to retaliate with harsh judgement, bitterness, and rejection. We automatically feel justified for giving our spouse or children the cold shoulder. I have done it times unnumbered, I confess it freely.
But do I take my burdens to the Lord Jesus Christ, the Savior and Healer of my soul? Do I seek to be forgiven and to forgive? Do I, by faith, get back up off the floor and pick up that yoke of motherhood and put one foot in front of the other? Do I believe there is hope for our broken pieces? Do I allow the Lord to put the pieces back together even if it seems impossible? Do I understand the magnitude of the grace of my Father? Do I dare to proclaim my undying trust in the love and care of my God?
Because if I choose to hope in Him, He has promised to exchange my miserable shambles for His dazzling glory. If I welcome His Presence into our home, He has all the solutions to all our problems.
"To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion,
to give unto them beauty for ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
that they might be called trees of righteousness,
the planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified."
In my own little dwelling, on my little plot of earth, I will continue to seek to honor the Name of Christ so that the adversary can have no opportunity to accuse me before my Father. May grace be given to mothers to fulfill this beautiful ministry to the family, the church, the community, and the world.
...to be continued